It’s been a long time. And In many ways, things about me have changed. I am a mother of two toddlers. I somehow made it through the pandemic without contracting COVID (so far). My role at work is a bit different. Ive watched all the James Bond movies and have read more romance novels than ever before. And then there’s my weight.
Yeah. That’s a tale as old as time- a tune I’m pretty sure I’ll be singing for the rest of my life. Since my son was born in June 2020, my weight has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. I got within 10 pounds of my goal weight, and then boomeranged back 10 pounds heavier.
For the past four months specifically, I’ve been in a rut. I haven’t been compelled to track my food intake. I haven’t made time to exercise. I make great decisions at meals and then binge at night. I go to parties and overeat pizza and chips and desserts because it’s there and I pretend like the occasion is “special.” I set realistic goals and then ditch them. I basically sabotage myself. And then I get depressed and hate on myself and blame the scale for going the wrong direction. So my pants are too tight and I’m unhappy, and I feel like I could have been there by now but I’m not in the right mindset.
So I started thinking about what I did to make so much progress in 2019, when the going was good, I was loving my new body, people were noticing/ complimenting me, and I felt on top of the world. And I’m going to try really hard to get back to that point.
First, I have to get back to tracking everything. The good days and the bad. I have to stop having bad days and then not fessing up to them, because when I have good days I never know how they measure to each other.
I need to be more consistent about going to meetings. The timing for in-person meetings are crap for working mothers. They’re mostly mornings during the work week and just don’t work. And every time I’d find a good virtual leader I liked, they’d go focus on something else. So my goal this week is to find a new coach that I like and start attending those virtual sessions every single week.
And of course I need to exercise more consistently. But it’s not my top priority, whether that’s the right approach or not. I feel like I need to be in a better mindset before I bring my focus back to working out, which I’ve never grown to like.
Finally, I need to start journaling again. I need a mind dump at the end of the day. Enter my old blog. I’m grateful that nobody reads this because I don’t intend it to be my best prose, but I think it’ll help me get back into focus, stay accountable, acknowledge my feelings, and take off some of the heavy stuff that weighs me down. So here I am.
I’ve got 25 pounds left until my goal weight. If I could be there by this time next year, I’d consider it a win. Let’s see how this goes…
The Skinny on Jen 